So, I let my teen have some friends sleep over last night. You know, ’cause school is starting in a few weeks and I want him to have fun with his friends before all the craziness, scheduling and all things school, begins. And also because I just can’t get enough Fortnite talk. (that was a reference to a very popular video game. If you haven’t heard of it, count your blessings)
For most of the night, they hung by the pool, made a fire in the fire pit, and played manhunt. All was good. I cooked pasta and chicken cutlets and served them outside, where they could talk about girls, video games and whatever else teen boys talk about. They came in from time to time for drinks and snacks, and went back outside. I even rented one of my favorite movies, “Serendipity” — life was good. This was a breeze. For a little while, it was a breeze.
Then they came inside. I was sitting in my pjs, nice and comfy, watching my movie…oooh, the best part was coming up….wait, then the back door opened and all the kids ran inside, high-fiving, laughing and …
and I was met with, what I’d like to describe as a virtual punch to my nostrils. (funny word, ‘nostrils’)
Do you have any idea how bad boys smell? And not just your average boy, but TEEN boys? I mean, I had an idea…after all, I do have two of them. On a good day, they smell like garlic & onion pizza. On a GOOD day. But I was not prepared for the immediate and lingering stench that would infiltrate my home, in such a way, that the thought of burning my furniture became a viable option.
Let me just say, I recognize that to the ‘normal’ person, this would not have been a big deal, but I tend to be less normal than the average person. I’m like, super sensitive to smells. And I come by it honestly. I remember coming home from school at 15 years old and toasting a Pop Tart. My mom literally walked into the kitchen, at least an hour later, and said, “Who had a Pop Tart?” Her sense of smell was insane. It was a Pop Tart. Classic mom.
So, I did what any other non-normal mom would do; I secretly and covertly went around the house, opening windows and spraying puffs of Gain scented Febreze on pillow cushions and arm chairs.
In the morning, I gave them a wide selection of breakfast options: chocolate chip pancakes, apple slices and donuts, cereal or eggs. Cause, c’mon, I’m not a jerk. I mean, they gotta eat.
Once the kids left, thanking me for having them, and hugging me goodbye (these are super good kids, by the way), I waved from the front door as I watched them drive away with their moms. Closing the door, I wandered back into the living room, where the boys slept on blankets, sleeping bags, and a wide assortment of pillows.
Now…where is that lighter fluid?