Slime. When I was growing up, “slime” was a word you used for a person of questionable character. As I got older, slime was a green liquid that you tried to avoid, as seen on a popular Nickelodeon show back in the 90s. Slime wasn’t something you wanted to be around. Slime was gross.
I’d like to know who the hell decided that not only was slime a good thing, but that it should be made – at home – by kids all over the world. Don’t believe me? Check out YouTube. There are thousands of do-it-yourselfers making slime and giving our kids the go-ahead to try it at home. You can make fluffy cloud slime, sparkle slime, glitter slime…you can use different colors. Go on Pinterest; there are over 300 ways to make slime.
How did this happen?
If you haven’t had the pleasure of making slime, let me clue you in. DON’T. Nothing good comes from it. It’s easy enough…3 ingredients, really. Mix…mix…mix…add more stuff…mix. Wait to see if it starts to form…(it never does).
What usually happens, at least in my house, is my kid grows tired of mixing and waiting for it to form – so she takes it in her hand, and tries to blend it with her fingers. Guess what happens then? It gets sticky. It sticks. It sticks to her fingers, and as she tries to wipe it off, it sticks to that…whatever she uses to try and wipe it off – it sticks to. It sticks to the kitchen table, to the floor. And inevitably, she calls for me…because I’m the mom. I fix stuff. That’s what I do. And now I’ve got it stuck to my fingers.
And if you try to rinse it off? Forget it. And don’t ever use the glitter…that sh*t gets everywhere!
For my daughter’s birthday, she got 4 slime making kits. Because, you know…parents well, we want to share the joy. Or regift.
I would personally like to find the idea guy, and yes, I am blaming a man for this…and I would like to kick him really, really, really hard. In the knee cap. And I have friends who’ve volunteered to hold him down. Those are good friends.
I’m sure this slime sensation will come to a natural demise, as did the fidget spinners, silly bands, and rainbow loom.
In the meantime, I’ve got some kicking to do.