Life & Love & Lessons Learned

When it all falls apart…

I know what you’re thinking, and why this scares you. Things may change. Your life may change.

Your head tells you to keep it all in, keep it quiet. Swallow it down and keep it to yourself. But your heart is heavy, and holding it all in has been wreaking havoc on your mascara. It’s like a sauce pan on a slow simmer…if you don’t pay attention, and let it go unattended long enough, that pot is going to bubble over.  The water will overflow from the pot to the burner and then it’s just a big mess.  Yes, my friend, you are that sauce pan. You are that pot. You’ve simmered on low for so long — yah, you get the analogy. I won’t drill it in. You get it.

For days all you’ve done is cry. You wonder if anyone else has ever cried so much and for so long that their eyes hurt like yours? Like, real, honest-to-goodness pain? That kind of hurt. You just wanna close your eyes for like, you don’t even know…for as long as it takes for them to stop burning.  Besides, you’re not rockin’ the tear-stained face, or so you tell yourself.

Now here you are, on the brink of taking a life together and dividing it. Trying to forget that for a while, it was bliss. The memories are all around – in the living room where your the pictures hang. In the hallway, where smiling faces are framed. Frozen in time. Memories.

Days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months – and time slips away, as does the fire, the passion, the desire, that used to fill your heart. Your soul.

Yet you keep going. You keep doing all the tasks necessary. You try, because after all, you made a vow. You have children. You don’t want them to hurt. You don’t want them to suffer. This is not their fault. This should not be their problem – but it will become their problem. It will become “When can I see Daddy?” and “Who’s house am I going to today?”

It will become a mess. No matter how much you still love each other, no matter how good of friends you’re trying to remain. It will undoubtedly become a mess.

So now you find yourself at a crossroads. Or is it, crossroad? No matter…you’re here now. And what road are you going to take? That is the million dollar question.

One road will keep you on the path you’ve chosen, so long ago. It is familiar. It is safe. It is the easiest road to take because nothing will change. If you stay on this path, you may regret it. You may, someday wake up, and not recognize the face in the mirror. You’ve settled. You’ve succumbed.

The other road, well, that’s all kinds of messed up. That road has bumps, craters, hills and valleys. That road is unfamiliar. There are flashing lights and warning signs everywhere. It’s a mess. That road scares you. That road leads to uncertainty. It could bring happiness, but it could bring misery. It could bring you to your knees. It could ruin everything.

That road sounds like the kind of road you should not take.

But what if?

What if you take that road, and you navigate your way through it. What if it leads you to love; the kind of love you deserve. What if, after the bumps along the way, and the pain of it, you come out to the other side, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz? Remember? Dorothy was searching for the Wizard. She had to go through a dark forest…she was frightened. The road was unfamiliar, but she took it anyway. And what awaited her on the other side were the answers she was looking for.

Her journey led her back home.

But know this – Life is too short to remain stagnant. To stay on a path, because it’s safe, is not living. You are not meant to merely exist in this world. You are meant to live…out loud. To feel alive. To be happy. Genuinely happy. To feel loved. Let me repeat, and please hear this, to feel loved. And to love.

Sometimes taking that “other” road, will lead you back home.

But staying out of fear of the unknown is not a reason to stay.  Staying because it’s easier –  not a good reason either.

We are given one life.

I believe in you. I’ve got you.

Sometimes when it all falls apart, it’s because you were meant to build something better, stronger. 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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