Every night before bed, I drag myself upstairs, because inevitably I’ve fallen asleep on the sofa watching Chopped or some Food Network show challenge. I brush my teeth and wash my face, because c’mon, going to bed with makeup on is (1) lazy and (2) just gross.
I’ve done this with relative easy for, I don’t know…my whole life. Until 2 nights ago. I’m washing my face…and damn it, my mascara is sticking to my lashes like tar on a freeway. I’m wiping and washing…it’s not coming off. I know…you’re thinking, “this is what you’re writing about?” and while I agree with you – yes…yes this is what I’m writing about because (a) yup, this is my life and (b) for the love of crap, I just couldn’t figure out why the hell the mascara I’ve been purchasing for years, no longer wipes off with ease. It was super frustrating!
Last night again, no luck. My husband came up and saw me scrubbing my eye sockets and asked me what the heck I was doing. “I…can’t…get…this…stupid…mascara..off!”
After letting fly a few expletives, I grabbed the mascara and looked at the back, where the ingredients are listed. “Waterproof” – Light Bulb! Stupid waterproof mascara.
Went to bed justified that I’m not losing my mind. Fell asleep and had a horrible dream. Like, really horrible. The kind of dream where you cry in your sleep. The dream woke me up, and I found myself wiping away my tears.
When the alarm went off, I went downstairs and told my husband about my horrible dream. My dreams are always super vivid and make absolutely no sense, but he always acts completely enthralled in what I’m saying.
After I’d finished the retelling of my nightmare, he came over and hugged me.
“But the good news is, your mascara didn’t run!”
He gets me.