Life & Love & Lessons Learned

8 Months of Soul Searching…

For those of you who know me, you know I’m a pretty positive person. I’m always smiling. I’m usually pretty happy. I don’t often share a tale of woes because I don’t really have any. Well, not now anyway. Not anymore.

Back in July, I went through something. It shook me to my core. I questioned everything. I doubted everything – my business, my parenting, my marriage…everything. It was a dark time, and it lasted for months. I couldn’t see a way out. I couldn’t just snap out of it. I couldn’t get a handle on it. I was flailing. I was disconnected.

I couldn’t figure out how to be blissfully happy again. I needed to feel that again. I needed to feel.  Well, I did feel actually – I felt invisible. I felt overworked. I felt overwhelmed.

My mom, sister-in-law, friends and family offered their nuggets of wisdom and advice. I’m sure they even prayed. It was dyer.

I put my husband through hell.

It wasn’t good.

And then, it happened. The heart that I seemingly closed, had started to reopen. Slowly, the hardened shell that I’d surrounded myself with, started to crack. I started to look at things differently – changed the direction. Adjust the tuning. And I realized that I have a really great life. Like, really great.

Yah, it gets hard. Yah, it gets monotonous, it gets routine. Kids suck the life out of you. Suck the passion right out of you. There are bills, responsibilities, date nights cancelled. There are chickens to be fed, dogs to clean up after…eggs to be collected. Homework to be corrected. Church to attend. There’s a lot on our plate –

But there’s also that wink…his wink. While you’re standing in the kitchen, at 9:30 p.m. making tomorrow’s lunches, and programming the coffee – and he looks at you in your flannel pjs and no makeup, and still thinks you hung the moon. He winks to let you know he’s got you. He’s got your back. He’s with you. He’s in this whole shebang…with you.

I’m so glad I went through that dark time 8 months ago. It taught me how strong love is. It taught me that love is resilient. It’s tough. It can truly overcome anything. It can mend. It can heal.

It can grow: stronger, brighter, better than before.

Love can truly conquer all.




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