Life & Love & Lessons Learned

When The New Wears Off…Way Off

So my husband and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary. Seventeen years married and nineteen years together. For a girl who ran from every commitment ever, that’s pretty good, right? That’s like…a long time.

But it hasn’t been without its challenges.

When you’ve been married for a bit, and the novelty of it has long worn off, you might sometimes wonder what it would be like if you were out on your own. Perhaps you even envision a cute little apartment, with a small garden in the back. Yah, that was me.

The new had worn off a long time ago. And with the birth of children, came responsibilities, budgets, routine, mundane…date nights and silliness were replaced with carpool and deadlines. Freedom became unattainable. Freedom to just be…spontaneous, unfettered.

And for a split second, I thought about leaving. I was feeling invisible, overwhelmed, afraid that I was losing a part of myself and who I used to be.

I started to close myself off. I started to picture my life differently.

I was standing on the edge…I was getting ready to jump into a new life.

But he gently took my hand, and pulled me back. He reminded me of all we’d built together.  And for the first time in a really long time, we got real. We got honest. Raw. It got ugly. It brought tears.

But in the end, it brought us closer together, and closer than ever.

I realized he’d been feeling the same way.

Marriage. Kids. Jobs. Bills. Responsibilities. It’s hard. It can suck the life right out of you. But you’re not in it alone. At the end of the day, when the dishes are washed, and the homework is packed, and you’re tired; and you can barely drag yourself up the stairs to brush your teeth…you’re not alone.

You’re in it together. You face it all together.

So while the new wore off a long time ago, there’s a certain comfort in knowing that this man who stands beside you, is not going anywhere. He’s in it forever. He’s with you. He’s got you.

For better or worse, in sickness and in health…and everything in between.

(The following song was the inspiration for this post.)


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