Life & Love & Lessons Learned

I want 2019 back.

So I’m not gonna lie, this “remote learning” has been challenging to say the least. And not so much for the kids, as it is for me! I’m stressed. I’ve got two in high school, in their rooms, with their desks and laptops, lamps, and all supplies they need to be productive. And I hate how isolated they are. Six hours on a computer is not ideal.

I’ve got my little downstairs in the dining room where I can see (monitor) her. She’s got her notebook and pencil. She’s got her earbuds. This is the new normal.

And me? I’ve got a business to run, a never ending stream of laundry to wash, dry and fold. I’ve got breakfasts, lunches and dinners to make –

And there’s no end in sight. I mean, I used to love to plan the meals. I would look through my cookbooks and figure out a great meal for the entire family. There were pork chops, apple sauce and mashed potatoes. There were nights of homemade baked mac & cheese and delicious homemade lasagna with homemade meatballs, or steak tips with white rice.

Now? I know 100 different ways to make chicken. And I don’t even care if the table is set, or if they even come to the table. You wanna eat outside? Sure! You wanna sit in the living room and watch t.v. Go for it! I don’t even care.

Before the Covid, I’d lovingly pack their lunch bags with their names – I’d kiss them goodbye and watch them walk to the end of the driveway and catch the bus. I’d have a hot cup of coffee and spend the morning doing whatever I wanted. It was quiet. It was peaceful. It was my time.

Now? We’re together ALL the time. Since March. I mean, I love them, but c’mon. They need to GO TO SCHOOL! It’s a lot to take.

I’m up at the crack of dawn waking them up, and then it begins – they all have different start times, so they come into the kitchen in waves, looking for snacks, drinks, lunch…I’m getting texts from upstairs asking for sneakers to be brought up because it’s “gym” day. What? I didn’t sign up for this, people.

And the breaks. My God the breaks. Every 10 minutes it seems the kids are getting a 5-minute break? Why? WHY?

I’m sick of it – of all of it. I’m sick of remote learning, and it’s only the 2nd week! I’m sick of masks. I’m sick of sanitizer.

And hugs. Don’t even get me started on how much I miss hugs!

And now we’re heading towards 2021 and all I want is 2019 back. I want to get back to the time “before Covid” – I want to rewind this year and not take anything for granted ever again.

I want to rewind the world before riots, before hatred and heartbreak.

I want peace. I want love. I want goodness and faith and hope.

I want 2019 back.

2 thoughts on “I want 2019 back.”

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